![\"Image](\"http:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/conference-cydcor.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nBut, but, but … even the professionals say it’s about your audience, not about the speaker!<\/p>\n
This is a perfect example of when you should do as they DO and not as they SAY. I can pretty much guarantee that if you turn on a video of pretty much any motivational speaker they will start talking about themselves.<\/p>\n
I never said it’s NOT about your audience. Of course, your audience matters. Of course, you should tailor make your presentation to the audience. That doesn’t mean it’s not about you too. <\/strong>Tailoring to the audience is a great subject for another day. Today, you matter too.<\/p>\n Almost without fail, when someone contacts me with anxiety, or when someone wants coaching to become more engaging and more\u00a0confident, my diagnosis is the same:<\/p>\n You need to talk about yourself more!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Nearly every time I say this, I’m immediately challenged:<\/p>\n It’s almost like I touch a nerve, which only proves I touch on the core of the problem:<\/p>\n Most bad presenters\u00a0are pretending to be someone else<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The solution is to “talk about yourself” more … as long as you do it in the right way!\u00a0Let me repeat … as long as you do it in the right<\/span> way!<\/strong><\/p>\n The idea\u00a0behind self-disclosure is a frequent subject of research in teaching and instructional design. Countless studies prove that those\u00a0leaders who self-disclose are more influential, more likable, and more successful.<\/p>\n People don’t like lectures, people like conversations<\/p><\/blockquote>\n People love you in real life!<\/p>\n The awkward, anxious, uncomfortable feeling rarely\u00a0happens in a real life conversation with a friend. The solution to anxiety (and boring-ness) on stage is to make the stage feel more like that friendly conversation.<\/p>\n When you act differently during a presentation than you do in real life, you come off as different. Why should listeners listen to you and love you, if you’re not sharing the parts of yourself that people normally love?<\/p>\n There was a time in our society in the past (still in some cultures)\u00a0where anything but a staid lecture behind a lectern seemed inappropriate. Not anymore!<\/p>\n I guarantee that every<\/span> time you leave a meeting saying “Wow, that was a great speaker” you also feel like you know something about the speaker personally.<\/p>\n On the other hand, every time you feel like you attended a dull, pointless lecture, you feel like you know nothing about the speaker’s real personality. Or perhaps, you think the speaker really is dull. Nobody is really that dull and boring —\u00a0they just look that way on stage when they pretend to be someone else.<\/p>\n Research shows that in ordinary casual conversation you will spend between 40% – 60% of the time talking about yourself (ScientificAmerican 2013<\/a>).<\/p>\n In other words, if you wanted a\u00a0speech to sound exactly like a conversation, you would spend 40% – 60% of the time talking about yourself.<\/p>\n CLARIFICATION: I’m not recommending that\u00a0you actually\u00a0talk about yourself 60% of your speech!<\/strong>\u00a0Obviously, most presentations require you to spend the majority of your time on the actual content of your speech.<\/p>\n BUT … you don’t have to go all the way to ZERO!<\/p>\n\n
The principle<\/h3>\n
<\/a>It’s quite simple really:<\/p>\nThe Science<\/h3>\n