{"id":642,"date":"2016-08-07T13:28:22","date_gmt":"2016-08-07T20:28:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/?p=642"},"modified":"2023-06-13T21:37:11","modified_gmt":"2023-06-13T21:37:11","slug":"what-if-i-dont","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/what-if-i-dont\/","title":{"rendered":"What if I Don’t …"},"content":{"rendered":"

I want you to go on stage and burp. Go on stage and scream. Go on stage and act like a clown. No, I’ve never said that, but based on the reaction I get, some people feel like I’m actually asking them to go on stage naked.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

If you come to one of my classes or hire me as a coach, you’ll probably see me do all of those things. Yes, I have screamed. Yes, I have burped. Yes, I have acted like a clown. I’ve told bad jokes. I’ve offended people. I’ve worn silly costumes. I’ve done things that are inappropriate. Yes, sometimes my experiments fail.<\/p>\n

But usually, they work!<\/p>\n

When I’m teaching a\u00a0principle to a client I try to think of a extreme, exaggerated example that will be impactful and memorable.<\/p>\n

\"Source:<\/a>
Source: Maryeoriginals<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In real-life, most people don’t want to be as extreme as the exaggerated metaphors in my classes. My demonstrations often produce an almost immediate response:<\/p>\n

But what if I don’t …<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

What if I don’t want to look like a clown?
\nWhat if I don’t want to be inappropriate?
\nWhat if I don’t know how to be funny?
\nWhat if I don’t have a lectern?
\nWhat if I don’t have time?
\nWhat if I’m on a video conference?
\nWhat if I’m on the phone?
\nWhat if it’s just one-on-one instead of a group?
\nWhat if I don’t want to?
\nWhat if I’m scared?
\nWhat if my audience is a different culture?
\nWhat if my boss has different expectations?
\nWhat if I don’t …<\/p>\n

People love to play the “what-if” game.<\/p>\n

Just last week I was telling my kids about a new family rule.\u00a0Instantly, I was bombarded by dozens of what-if scenarios. They were incredibly creative in coming up with hypothetical exceptions to the rule. It’s almost as if my kids were trying to find a way to ignore the rule … nah, couldn’t be, my kids wouldn’t do that … would they?<\/p>\n

Foundation in principle<\/h3>\n

The same thing happens when I\u00a0coach very capable professionals\u00a0on my 8 principles of public speaking.<\/p>\n

Those people who accept that the underlying principles are fundamentally true, ask what-if questions because they honestly want to understand how to apply the principle in a specific, real-life situation.<\/p>\n

Those people who are afraid to try something new, often ask what-if questions because they doubt the principle and want to think up an excuse NOT to try.<\/p>\n

I’m working on the premise that the 8 principles in my communication and\u00a0presentation skills system<\/a>\u00a0are\u00a0fundamental principles.<\/p>\n

\"Quickref\"<\/a>To learn more about the 8 principles, click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

You don’t make an airplane fly by ignoring gravity, you make an airplane fly by understanding the principle of gravity better, and then applying the principle it to your specific solution.<\/p>\n

What changes from one audience or situation to the next is not the\u00a0principles. What changes is the specific application.<\/p>\n

The\u00a0Effectiveness Continuum<\/h3>\n

If you have ever been to one of my classes you’ll know\u00a0that\u00a0to explain some of those principles, I tell you do things like “keep secrets” or “use stereotypes” or “show personality” or “go negative” or “be dramatic” and so on.<\/p>\n

Those directives can scare you if you’re imagining the extreme version of their application. Extreme versions of “stereotypes” and “drama” can seem wildly inappropriate. It doesn’t mean the principle\u00a0is wrong, it just means the extreme application you are imagining might be inappropriate.<\/p>\n

Use the most effective\u00a0tactic that’s appropriate<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

There are innumerable ways to apply every\u00a0principle. I can rank those speaker’s techniques from most effective to least effective on a simple scale divided into four approaches.<\/p>\n

\"experience\"<\/a>Experience<\/h3>\n

The most effective approach is to provide real-life\u00a0experience. When possible find a way for the audience to\u00a0actually experience your message.<\/p>\n

If you are talking about a roller coaster, the most effective approach to helping your audience understand is to actually take them on a REAL roller coaster ride.<\/p>\n

If you are selling scented candles, the most effective tactics allow the audience to actually smell the real candles.\u00a0If you want to prove to me that your product solves my problem, let me try your product and EXPERIENCE\u00a0the solution.<\/p>\n

If you really want the audience to understand the life of an injured veteran amputee, the most effective tactic would be to actually amputate the audience’s legs!<\/p>\n

Effective yes, appropriate no.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, real experience is impossible. Often,\u00a0real experience is inappropriate. When\u00a0impracticle move down the continuum to the next most effective tactic.<\/p>\n

\"Vintage_Iris_Of_Paris_Mother_Of_Pearl_Opera_Glasses_(14297173226)\"<\/a>Observation<\/h3>\n

If your audience can’t physically experience your topic, second best is OBSERVING\u00a0the reality of someone else’s\u00a0experience.<\/p>\n

You can’t amputate audience member’s legs, but you can introduce them to an actual\u00a0amputee who can show\u00a0them a\u00a0REAL example.<\/p>\n

Ideally, you want to talk to, empower, compliment, validate, and interact with every individual member of your audience. In a large group, that’s impossible. Second best, you let the whole audience OBSERVE your interaction with selected members of the audience.<\/p>\n

Ideally, when you’re applying for a job you want the interviewer to have already had real experience working with you. When she hasn’t, you want to bring examples and evidence the she can OBSERVE about how you have worked with others.<\/p>\n

Ideally, you have experience together or at least examples they can observe. If you don’t, move down the continuum.<\/p>\n

Imagination<\/h3>\n
\"Source:<\/a>
Source: breakfaceart.deviantart.com<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Third most effective is helping the listener imagine your subject in their own minds. \u00a0For the purpose of this scale, the only difference between “observation” and “imagination” is that imagination isn’t real.<\/p>\n

If you are running for elected office and asking me for my vote, the incumbent has an advantage. Why? Because the incumbent has an observable past with the electorate. Barack Obama can show you REAL\u00a0things he does as president, Donald Trump must ask you to IMAGINE\u00a0what he would do.<\/p>\n

When done correctly,\u00a0imagination is incredible powerful.<\/p>\n

If you’re pitching me on a new product idea or hypothetical future relationship, I can’t experience your product, and I can’t observe it–because it doesn’t exist yet. Lots of public speaking situations fall into the category of proposals, hypotheticals, and future unrealized plans. Help me imagine the benefits.<\/p>\n

Fill in the unknowns in my imaginary world.\u00a0Help me imagine how my peers will react.\u00a0Ask me about my goals, objectives and dreams.
\nPlace me in the hypothetical world that you want to create.\u00a0Paint a picture of the possibilities and ask me to imagine the outcome.<\/p>\n

\"textbook\"<\/a>Explanation<\/h3>\n

Unfortunately, very very few presenters do any of the above. The vast majority of speakers don’t even consider\u00a0giving the audience a tangible experience. Most don’t even consider showing them someone else’s experience to observe. Only rarely do speakers use words that\u00a0excite the listener’s imagination.<\/p>\n

The vast majority of time, public\u00a0speaker do nothing but explanation.<\/p>\n

I hate to even include explanation on the “effectiveness continuum” because it’s NOT\u00a0effective. Explanation is not the worst of the best options, it’s the best of the worst options.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, pure explanation is frequently necessary. You don’t need me to explain what an explanation is. You’ve been there, done that, and fallen asleep.<\/p>\n

By the way, you might notice that my blog posts are nearly 100% explanation. That’s correct. Explanation is easy. The more effective approaches take more planning, more preparation, and more practice.<\/p>\n

My blog is also WRITTEN COMMUNICATION. Written communication is never experiential and rarely something to observe. In a written medium you’re limited to mostly explanation and imagination. Explanation is not nearly as ineffective in a written medium as it is in\u00a0a verbal medium. Please don’t confuse the style of a how-to blog, with the style of a video or speech.<\/p>\n

Answering the Exceptions<\/h3>\n

\"dont-panic-1067044_960_720\"<\/a>The answer to every what-if question is that you use the most effective tactic that is appropriate. If possible, create an\u00a0EXPERIENCE.\u00a0If you can’t use experience, use OBSERVATION. Otherwise, use IMAGINATION. Then and only then, settle for explanation.\u00a0So let’s give it a try. Let’s answer the what-ifs:<\/p>\n

What if\u00a0I’m on a video conference?<\/strong><\/h4>\n

I get this one a lot. I coach people on how to use the stage, but so much of business communication now days happens on a screen. You can’t have a physical, tangible personal EXPERIENCE\u00a0on a screen.<\/p>\n

What about\u00a0second best? Yes\u00a0you CAN give them an experience to OBSERVE. You CAN prepare videos or visuals that can be shared online.<\/p>\n

Third–but what if I don’t have time to prepare visuals? That’s okay.\u00a0You CAN still ask them to IMAGINE\u00a0the situation or place themselves in a hypothetical.<\/p>\n

What if you’re on the phone or video? Apply the principles anyway.<\/p>\n

What if I’m scared?<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Often when meeting with a client they share embarrassing personal stories\u00a0with me in a casual conversation. Not infrequently I tell them to share the same story on stage. This makes people uncomfortable. It’s scary to be vulnerable on stage.<\/p>\n

I’m asking them to let the audience OBSERVE their personal story–because that would be the most effective option available.<\/p>\n

If I can’t convince them to try and let the audience observe their REAL personality, we go to third best option and I ask them to give their audience a hypothetical situation. We help the audience IMAGINE an experience that conveys the same emotions.<\/p>\n

What if I don’t want to be emotional?<\/h4>\n

Avoiding emotion is very common. I ask people all the time to infuse more passion, more enthusiasm, and more emotion–but emotion and drama is frowned upon in many business settings.<\/p>\n

Best: Get the audience to EXPERIENCE the emotion of using your\u00a0product.<\/p>\n

Second: Let them OBSERVE someone else experiencing the emotion of using your product.<\/p>\n

Neither of those are inappropriate in most business situations, yet most of us are afraid to try. I get it. Just reframe it. Instead of letting them see your emotion you can ask them to remember (i.e. OBSERVE) their own emotion in a similar situation.<\/p>\n

Third: Ask them to\u00a0IMAGINE the emotion of using your product.<\/p>\n

Fourth: EXPLAIN IT–Tell them why your product will make them happy. GAG! Isn’t it obvious why you don’t want to settle for mere explanation?<\/p>\n

We could go through more what-if questions, but I think you get the idea.<\/p>\n

Yeah, but …<\/h3>\n

All of those things I’ve done on stage that made me look stupid taught me what works. You’ll never know it doesn’t work if you don’t try.<\/p>\n

I tend to try the extreme experiment\u00a0first just to see if it works, and then dial it back when I fail. That’s how I broke out of my introverted speaking anxiety shell. I’m not saying that you have to do it that way.<\/p>\n

I’m not asking you to go all the way from staid explanation to clownish drama. Start wherever you are and try the next level up. If you’ve never tried more then explanation, move up to imagination. If you’re comfortable with observations, give experience a go.<\/p>\n

If you trust the principles, don’t assume the attempt\u00a0will fail, assume the attempt\u00a0will win.<\/p>\n

IMAGINE\u00a0. . .<\/p>\n

What if you help them EXPERIENCE?
\nWhat if you help them OBSERVE?
\nWhat if you help them IMAGINE?<\/p>\n

What if you don’t have\u00a0to EXPLAIN?<\/p>\n

Don’t ask yourself what-if you don’t?
\nAsk yourself what if you DO?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I want you to go on stage and burp. Go on stage and scream. Go on stage and act like a clown. No, I’ve never said that, but based on the reaction I get, some people feel like I’m actually asking them to go on stage naked.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":644,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[13,15],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/642"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=642"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/642\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1112,"href":"https:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/642\/revisions\/1112"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/644"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=642"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=642"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelspeaks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=642"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}